maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
