I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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