New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
