The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
