you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
