If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
