bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.