she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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