I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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