the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize