Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
