I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize