I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
