she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My life is pants optional.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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