KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
