We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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