She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
