just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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