if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
