I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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