You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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