I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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