K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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