he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
