i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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