She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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