im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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