no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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