She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
