as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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