Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
