thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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