btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
