Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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