Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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