Its about making memories worth repressing
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
