I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
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He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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