I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
