If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
