So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
not ubering you a puppy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize