You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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