Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Randomize
