I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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