The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Jerry, you need to find god
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
