this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
