i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize