I hope mine doesn't look like that
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
