i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
