Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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