Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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