he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
