i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Be still, my beating vagina.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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