It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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