He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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