You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through