I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.