Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape