"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
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Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.